How to Control Anger

We all get angry and frustrated at times its part of human nature. Angry feelings can be those of frustration, annoyed with someone, about something, even mad at yourself for something you’ve done or said without thinking things through correctly. Whatever the anger is about, in some situations it needs to be managed before it leads us into deep water.

Controlling Anger

Let’s look at some ways we can control our angry feelings, so we don’t cause emotional or physical harm to someone else or ourselves. It is better to try and change the way we react when angry, so in the future, our response to it will be controlled rather than out of control.

We are responsible and must take ownership of our angry outbursts; we have a choice to be or not to be angry. Say to yourself, “I made myself angry.” Stop and think what caused the anger, was it something that could have been overlooked, after all, nobody is perfect we all make mistakes.  Ask yourself, “could I have let that go over my head rather than reacting angrily to it?”

Just walking away from the situation and staying away for at least half an hour can make all the difference in the outcome. Distracting yourself from the anger such as counting backwards from 20 or reciting some saying such as, “don’t look back in anger” can be helpful. Use a deep breathing exercise to calm you down.  Breathe in slowly through your nose and expel slowly through your mouth, it works!

Mind Reading
Don’t try to mind read. We can only guess what is going through someone’s mind, but we cannot be 100% positive. For example, anticipating someone is thinking you are stupid.  Have you proof of that?

Not Every Argument Needs to be Won!
Not every argument needs to be won. We can compromise and disagree, both are acceptable responses, and there is no need to be angry.  At the end of the day how important to you will the situation or issue be in a day, week or month’s time.

Thinking About Anger

Finally, be aware of the fear and hurt that is experienced once the anger has died down, it needs to be acknowledged!   Anger is sometimes used as an alternative to feelings of sadness, hurt or fear. Some people are unable to cope with these emotions and use anger as a weapon to avoid looking deep into their true feelings.

Anger is a powerful weapon that can cause destruction and extreme hurt both physically and mentally.  Take a deep breath, stop, think and calm yourself down.   Control your anger, don’t let it control you!

Some Quotes on Anger
“A hand ready to hit may cause you great trouble.”- Maori

“A man in passion rides a mad horse.” – Ben Franklin (1706-1790)

“A quarrelsome man has no good neighbours.” –  Ben Franklin (1706-1790)

“Anger is a short madness.” – Horace (65-8 BC)

“Anger is one letter short of danger.” Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

“Exaggeration is truth that has lost its temper.” – Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)

“The greatest remedy for anger is delay.”- Unknown source

© Life Coach You

Keep an image in your mind that reflects a calmer you. When angry try and picture your calm self. It will help you to visualize a clearer picture of the situation or issue that has conjured up your anger.